Originally Answered: No. Not in a million years even if he says he has, even if he believes he has he is fooling himself. Do not ask or expect forgiveness its impossible for you are and will remain unforgiven. You will bear your sin of infidelity and your scarlet letter to your grave. Why? Because you have murdered your marriage and raped every sense and emotion in your husband, destroyed everything he is, his past present and future, his hopes and aspirations, you stabbed him in the heart and where his love was there will be coldness of sadness. You cant take it back, you can’t fix it, it’s your cross to bear to your grave. You also destroyed yourself.
You have destroyed your integrity, dignity, self respect, purity, innocence and trustworthiness. You are no longer your husband’s princess on a pedestal, his pride, his honour, his snow white. You are now a fallen woman, defiled, dishonoured, ruined, forever stained by another man’s seed, your skin smelling of another man’s sweat, your eyes replaying disgusting videos of you and your lover, your memory holding new tricks, your passion for your husband gone, given to your lover never to be redeemed.
You think I am disrespectful? You don’t deserve any. You are no longer a woman your husband married, you are so much less, not deserving him. He too is so much less because you destroyed him.
Just as you can never give your sex passion to your husband as you did because someone else now has it so your husband cannot love you as passionately as he did. You have ripped out a piece of his heart and now it is a lesser heart to love you. He will see you dirty, despicable, disgusting, revolting, smelling of another man, tasting like a soup someone p**** in. Imagine making love to that. How is he supposed to passionately desire you? You have to be superhuman to do it.
Your love life now, non existent. Your sex life? If he wants it( instead he now may prefer watching ponography). You will miss your lover and your husband will miss the love stolen from him, a woman you were but can never be again.
A hell on earth for you just as it is the hell you put your husband through. So dance on, you are just two wretched cripples dancing to shitty music.
However I do believe in love and redemption. Never forget you have cheated and will always remain a cheater but you may choose remission. Nothing will be as it was. Nothing easy, no happy endings. You will work so much harder for so much less for crumbs really, that will be your penance. If your lover was good enough you would be out of this marriage but no he wasn’t and he really did not want you or you would be with him. If you leave, you are on your own, grass isn’t greener and you may end up with someone else’s wilted patch.
You had so much more and a whole of your husband, Now that you fucked up royally you have a lot less of him and a lot less of yourself.
Roger - March 31: Haven, the first thing you did was to try to shift the blame on the betrayed spouse, it must be something spouse did or did not do, rubbish. You speak like a cheater. If you read many answers on Quora from cheating wives many of them admittedly had husbands that did not deserve to be cheated on but they did it anyway. It’s the slut in them.
In any case, whatever the reason it cannot justify cheating. I take it you hold christian values so you must know that before forgiveness there has to be genuine regret and genuine remorse to obtain genuine repentance and then then penance must be served before forgiveness.
Infidelity is such an act of evil, against a person you swore to love, that it is true devil’s work, that forgiveness is impossible.
For a start is there genuine regret? Regret for insane exhilarating mind blowing sx? No chance, I am not buying it. Remorse? no chance, she would happily keep f*** him if she wasn’t busted, yes regret for getting caught, regret for her lover not really wanting her or being a loser or she would have left never to return. That does not qualify for true regret. What about penance, will she buy you things? Nothing she does can in this lifetime make up for what she did. So as you can see, without true regret, true remorse, fitting penance not possible all the elements required for forgiveness are not there.
In any case forgiveness is a stupid concept, What is it? Pretending it did not happen?, pretending it does not matter, a poor attempt at amnesia, a bandaid to a wound that can never heal? I will leave forgiveness to god for what she did in this life is unforgivable.
Overcoming Infidelity is such a high mountain to climb, much taller than Everest and I have not found a way to overcome it.
The fact is that regardless of reasons or not my wife has given herself to another man corrupting her mind and defiling her body, rejecting me as her number one. I can never make peace with that.
